February 2012
21 posts
Goodnight, Meme. →
annetdonahue:
Here is “GOODNIGHT, MEME.” I wrote it. I regret nothing.
Help make it a modern classic. Help us all.
This was written by my very funny friend and professional writer, Anne Donahue.
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Frank's Cabin
It must have been around ’89, back when Ken and Frank were still young and they both thought they were invincible. Their young families would take winter trips out to the backwoods of Pamelia and stay at Frank’s cabin. We were hours from anywhere. They’d go hunting for deer until really late at night when it was impossible to see anything. If they caught anything they’d bring it back and skin it...
Anonymous asked: I don't have a lot of cash, but I love comedy. So I get most of my live entertainment from open mics. I'm not a performer, but I love going to these shows because they're generally entertaining and free. Whenever you show up at one, I want my money back.
Anonymous asked: How can someone have been doing comedy as long as you have without learning absolutely anything? Your twitter reads like an Uncle John's Bathroom book.
chelseaelle asked: Were you born this tough or did a life on the mean streets of Philadelphia make you this way? Also, which gang are you aligned with and what did you write in your cover letter to them? Asking for a friend.
samcmontgomery asked: Are you a dog person or a cat person or a cuddling in bed with a horse person?
juliadavidovich asked: boxers or boxers?
Anonymous asked: Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Anonymous asked: Black people.
emppalp-deactivated20120423 asked: You seem overwhelmingly pensive in your avatar. What are you thinking about? It's tits right? It's gotta be.
Anonymous asked: boners
Anonymous asked: Your writing is hilarious. Did you start out writing comedy and then decided to do stand up or did you start writing because of your interest in doing stand up.
Hi. You can literally ask me anything with this. →
I feel like I haven’t been connecting with people as well as I could be. This seems like the best way.
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Rick Santorum Looking Stupid →
I may or may not be responsible for this. Sorry!
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Simon Birch Alternate Universe
Last night I was briefly discussing this scene of Simon Birch with internet phenomenon Rob Fee (@robfee). This isn’t uncommon for me. I talk to people like this all the time. Celebrities love me. Rob said that the Ashley Judd baseball scene is one of the most unintentionally hilarious things caught on film. And he’s right. But I began thinking there may have been some foul play at...
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It's All Happening...
“On the fifth day of the second month, when heroes and countrymen meet giants face to face, the mother will shed her flesh at halftime in apparent wardrobe malfunction and reveal herself to be a Terminator. And the earth shall tremble as it is devoured by Her. Despite relatively high ratings the performance will be panned by critics and viewers alike.”
-Nostradamus “Madonna...
A Recently Deceased Man's Letter to His Widow →
I wrote this a while back. It is about love and never getting to say everything you wish you could say. Maybe it is still funny?
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