December 2011
11 posts
6 tags
Back in July...
I swore to myself I’d post at least twice per week in this blog until the end of the year. I did it. I did it as a way to prove (to myself) that I could provide constant output and to always be writing. What happened, in most weeks, was that I ended up with more than two posts per week. A lot of those posts were very long. A lot of people probably didn’t read them because they were so...
7 tags
That Time I Got Sun Disease
It was getting dark and the sand wasn’t hot anymore. She was carrying her sandals. I had made things uncomfortable, as usual. It was like how my parents used to tell me that if I wanted to cry they’d give me something to cry about. Only in this case it was awkward silence rather than tears. She told me we were leading two totally different lives and that things would be back to normal...
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My Favorite Tweets of 2011
Everyone is putting together their year-end Twitter lists. Here are my favorite 10 tweets of 2011. Enjoy!
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Great job everyone! See you next year!
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Notes of a Holiday Survivor
It’s hard to believe it’s been fifteen years already. Fifteen years since mom died. I was pretty young then but I can still remember saying goodbye before she left for that fateful trip to the store. Dad left when she was pregnant so she was just doing what she could do get by and support us. It was Christmas Eve of 1996 when she left for a last minute run to Wal-Mart to get me a Tickle Me Elmo...
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I wouldn’t say I’m a tech geek or anything but I know a thing or two. Take my boss for instance. He’s a little older, like 46, so he knows a lot less. Compared to him I am a total nerd. It’s really great for me. Sometimes he asks me to complete complex tasks for him that only I know how to do, like create a specialized Pandora playlist of various Christmas artists. Like...
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When I was back home in the rural town of Watertown, NY, home of the pine tree Car Freshener, we had just three radio stations. One was an top 40 station with a forever changing name, one was a country station called FROGGY, and the third was a classic rock station. The station was called CIZ93FM. They played a lot of Fleetwood Mac and Journey. After a while, people complained that the name was...
9 tags
Gift Car
Today I became very sickly and could not go to tell a comedic story at the Philadelphia Art Museum. So, instead of a video, here is the much longer, more boring text version.
When I think of my father showing love I think of money. Not that he was rich, he exactly wasn’t poor either. In terms of money our family could best be described as “economy-sized”. However, my father had a very low...
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An Excerpt
This Friday there is a good chance I will be spinning a yarn at the historic Museum of Art in Philadelphia. It is a show about gifts. Here is an excerpt of the story I am writing:
Flash forward to age 17. I had worked multiple paper routes to save up and buy my first car entirely in cash: A 1992 Chevy Cavalier. It was an old clunker as most first cars are, but I was excited. However, just four...
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The Theme of the Show is "Worst Christmas Ever"
Often times I will perform comedy on storytelling shows bound by a specific theme. I like working within a theme because it forces me to be more creative. When my friend Jaime asked me to tell a story on the December installment of her showed with the theme “Worst Christmas Ever” my answer was, as always, yes. However, I don’t have any bad Christmas stories. Probably the worst...
4 tags
Comically Critiquing Crazy Courtney's Creepy...
By now we’re all aware of how strange Courtney Stodden’s Twitter feed is. By now we’re all aware of how strange her entire life is. She’s a 17 year old “recording artist” who resembles a 47 year old Hustler model married to a 51 year old D-list actor whose greatest accomplishment is Courtney Stodden. On her Twitter feed Courtney posts what she calls...
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January 12th, Prepare Your Ass for a Thrashing
I know I don’t talk openly about my life on this blog very often but…
I AM OPENING FOR DAVE HILL!
Again. I opened for him back in February as well. I couldn’t be more excited about this opportunity. Dave is one of the nicest people alive. For example: My friend and I went to see Diamondsnake open for Reverend Horton Heat in NYC during the spring and he brought us beers from...